Healing the Inner Voice That Says ‘I’m Not Enough’

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Why am I like this?”…

You know you’re kind, hardworking, maybe even successful on the outside. Yet deep down, there’s a whisper that keeps saying, “I’m not good enough.” And no matter how much you try to ignore it or outwork it, it still finds its way back.

So, again, you try to be strong. You show up. You hold things together.
But inside… there’s a voice.
A quiet, constant inner voice that whispers:
“You’re not good enough.”
“Something’s wrong with you.”
“You’ll never be truly loved.”

If that’s familiar you’re not alone. So many women carry these invisible wounds, which often they started long before adulthood. This is the real story of one such woman—let’s call her Marie—and how she began to reclaim her sense of self through deep transformational work.

Marie’s Story – ‘I’m a Negative Person’

Marie came to see me in a moment of deep emotional overwhelm. On paper, she had a good life—a respected managerial position in a London hotel chain, two children, a marriage and a stable household. Savings and good pension fund. But, underneath all of these things were falling apart. She was preparing to separate from her husband, feeling lost in her work, not confident opening and talking to people, and questioning her worth as a person. Therefore, people started to distance themself from her as well.

She described herself as negative, overly sensitive, and emotionally fragile. Her inner voice was cruel. “Everything is my fault.” “I’m not good enough.” “I can’t communicate properly.” These weren’t just fleeting thoughts—they were deeply ingrained beliefs.

Tears came quickly in our first session. As we gently explored her past, a clear image emerged: Marie as a young girl, watching her father drive his new partner’s children to school, while she and her sister walked alone. He would sometimes wave, but never stopped. The message she internalised? “I don’t matter. I’m not worth the effort. I’m worthless and invisible…”

Why We Stay Stuck – in Company of that Inner Voice

Childhood emotional neglect can be just as damaging as overt abuse. It creates a blueprint in the nervous system that directly affects how we feel about ourselves as adults, how we relate to others, and how safe we feel in the world surrounding us. How successful we finally are in our work as well as personal relationships.

In Marie’s case, this early wound translated into chronic self-doubt, people-pleasing, and deep sensitivity to criticism. Even though she was intelligent, competent and strong in many areas, her inner voice was still shaped by that abandoned, sad, little girl. Like a life-long journey companion that never wanted to go away…

What the Psychology Needs Assessment Revealed

As part of our work, we completed the Human Needs Psychology assessment. Marie’s scores revealed important insights overall, but the lowest ones were related to Significance (core wound of not feeling seen, valued or important) and Love/Connection (deep, unmet needs for connection and emotional safety).

Low scores in Significance and Love/Connection often point to deep emotional pain from childhood. When we feel unseen and emotionally isolated as children, we unconsciously carry that story into adulthood. As a result, we desperately search for solution, feeling something is wrong with us. But what? So, we easily go into toxic relationships (that in fact only contribute to all kinds of negative feelings we might carry with us further), drugs, alcohol and all of these… A vicious circle. Never ending story of sadness, disappointment, pain… As if, we’ve been sentenced for life carrying no guilt in first place. No place for happy and fulfilling life here.

Understanding these needs and mechanisms helped Marie begin to see that her reactions weren’t just “who she truly was.” They were strategies her brain developed for surviving an emotional environment that felt unsafe. And, just like any strategy, they could be rewired.

The Start of Real Healing

Transformational work doesn’t just involve talking about the past—it means gently meeting the pain that still lives in the body, mind, and nervous system. With methods like Core Transformation and the Wholeness Process, we began to meet the abandoned parts of Marie. Not with any kind of judgment whatsoever, but with curiosity and compassion.

She started to understand that in fact, her inner critic was once a protector. That the negative self-talk wasn’t her true self, but a defence mechanism (an incredible protective brain function) against more painful feelings. And slowly at first, but she began to build a new inner voice—one rooted in worth, safety, and self-respect. And that’s where for the first time in her entire life the process of healing started.

You Are Not Broken

If you relate to Marie’s story, know this: you are not broken. Therefore, you do not need to be fixed.
The voice that says “I’m not enough” isn’t who you truly are. It’s a survival voice, often born from times when you weren’t emotionally met or valued. Although it might be a tricky one, it can change. And that’s the only thing that might need “fixing” (not you at all) in a therapy and the process of healing.

Through the right kind of therapy—transformational, not just informational, talking one—your inner world can shift. Your nervous system and brain can rewire and settle. Your self-perception can evolve. And your relationships, career, and confidence can all grow as a result.

Time to Heal

Healing is not about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to who you were before the world told you otherwise.

So. If you feel the ache of “not enough,” I invite you to get curious. Just stop, take a quiet breath, and another one, and slowly ask yourself: What if that voice isn’t the truth? What if my story isn’t over yet?… And, what happens? How does it feel?

Because, that’s where the new beginning starts.

With warmth,
Renata